Hey, hey, hey, Kings and Queens, and welcome to my blog.
Eeek. I'm so excited!
I used to apologise for my gushing, but I don’t apologise for being myself anymore—to hell with that.
So, firstly I need to warn y’all. I will be 100% myself in these posts. I will be crazy, I will cuss, curse, and most importantly, I will speak my truth. So if that’s gonna trigger you, please exit left.
Now, to everyone who’s left, I’m so happy to have you here. I’ve wanted to start this for so long and the internal nagging has become unbearable now, so here I am. I’m not here to preach or tell you what to do, ‘cause I’m not an expert by any means. I’m just me, trying to put more love out into the world, through my daily life, through my books, and now through this blog.
I can only speak about my own experiences in hopes that you might learn something. We’ve all learnt something from someone, and although I might only be 34, trust me when I tell you I’ve been through some shit, as I’m sure you have to.
But there won’t be any pity parties here.
And while you’re here, I just want to say that if you’ve struggled through anything in your life, especially on your own, I think you’re fucking amazing. Life is hard, and we never give ourselves enough credit for everything we overcome, but I’m here to remind you just how incredible you are. It’s easy to get caught up in our' mistakes' and 'failures', the things we haven’t done or the things we wish we would’ve done better or different, but here, on this blog, we don’t beat ourselves up about that shit, because everything we’ve lived through has led us right here, to this moment.
Everything we’ve lived through has been a lesson, and we’re exactly where we’re meant to be.
Here, we’ll be uplifting, supporting, and encouraging each other, because there’s more than enough negative shit in this world that we have to deal with on the daily, and I’m determined for this place to be different.
So, if you’re a judgy mf with no compassion or think you’re better than everyone, I suggest your ass leaves, too. People might want to hate on me on Facebook and report my posts in my own group, but this is MY house, that I built, and I will say what the fuck I want in it.
Don’t like it?
Right, now that we’ve filtered those lot out, let’s get to it. There's so much I want to talk about on this blog, because as I’ve said, I've experienced so much and believe those experiences could benefit someone. I already put messages into my books, and those of you that have read them will know that already, but I wanted somewhere else to really share my thoughts with people who actually want to listen.
I want to find people like me.
So I’m not going to plan what to write in advance, I'm just going to write whatever my spirit is called to write on the day, twice a week initially, but as a warning, I will be touching on a lot of things that may be triggering, so please proceed with caution.
I want you all involved, too, so please make suggestions. I would love it if you did.
I also want to say that this is a safe place. My safe place as well as yours, so anyone caught spreading hate, bashing others, judging, or being hurtful in any way will straight get banned. We’re grown here and understand that everyone has their own journey to walk, in their own time, and not only is no one better than anyone else, we never compare ourselves to others.
With that being said, for my first post, I'd like to talk about positive thinking. I'd also like to give those of you that are open to it, some homework. (Yes, this is very much going to be an interactive blog. And yes, I practice all that I preach, that’s why I know this shit works.)
So, let's talk about our thoughts, or mine.
I used to be an over-thinker, and when I suffered with anxiety, it would be almost crippling at times. I would imagine every possible scenario of every possible situation, usually thinking the worst. It's not that I wanted to, I just couldn't shut my mind off.
Meditation, amongst other things (like removing toxic as fuck energies from my life), has helped me so much, and if it isn't something you're doing, I would very much recommend it. There are lots of guided meditations on YouTube, but you can start with just spending the first five minutes of your day somewhere quiet, giving thanks for what you have, really appreciating them, and then setting your intentions for the day.
(I can already hear some of you say, time to myself? What’s that? But I’ll talk about putting yourself first in another post, or several. And yes, I mean before your kids and partners. Shock horror!!)
Anyway, I know it can be difficult to be grateful when everything in your life seems to be going wrong, but trust me, you can always find something to be grateful for. Do you have a roof over your head? A job? A talent? Children that love you? Parents that love you? A car? Your health? Food in your fridge? I hope you have at least one of these things, because remember, some people out there have none of these.
Even the poorest people who have nothing to their name smile the brightest and are some of the happiest people you’ll ever meet. It may sound cliché, but it’s really not. How can you be deserving of more when you don’t even appreciate what you already have?
I’ll let you stew on that.
Personally, I usually wake up before my kids do, (because now I know how important time for myself is, I’ve realised I can’t fill anyone’s cup when my own is empty) then take the first few minutes of the day to give thanks for all that I have. Then after I do a short workout like yoga, kettlebells, or a 15-minute hiit workout, I think about all the things I would like to accomplish that day.
Some days I accomplish everything, some days I don’t, but what I don’t do anymore is beat myself up over anything I don’t get done. If you do this, please stop. We’re all a work in progress and should be more kind and understanding to ourselves.
One thing I’ve started doing the past few months is doing anything I don’t want to do that day, first, so it’s out of the way. Have you ever had to do something you don’t want to do but put it off, so it hangs over you, putting you in a bad mood?
Yeah, so have I, so don’t do it. Get that shit done out the gate, and I promise you your day will be so much better.
Finally, after that, I have a list of affirmations that I tell myself, and yes, I get my kids to say theirs, too.
I wonder how many people left after that statement…
Yes, I know some people feel a little uneasy about affirmations, and so did I. It felt weird when I first began them, because I was kinda faking it till I made it. Telling myself that I was a Queen, deserving of love, and that I was enough, well, it felt like I was lying to myself.
However, after a few weeks, I was owning every single one of them!
Now, when I tell myself that I am a boss, I am a Queen, I am beautiful, and that I deserve the best, I KNOW it's the mf truth, and you all need to believe it, too. It might seem like a crazy thing to do, but you know what’s even crazier? Not believing that shit about yourself. Do you really believe you were put on this earth to think of yourself as less than?
Is a baby born believing he’s worthless? That he can’t live his dreams? That he’s destined to settle? Be poor, struggle, to be unhappy?
Hell tf no!
We’re taught that mess growing up, through our experiences, but now it’s time to unlearn it all, because it doesn’t serve us in the slightest. All those thoughts do is ruin our lives and hold us back.
I understand it’s hard, believe me. When you’ve had family, friends, or maybe even partners tell you you’re worthless or made you feel a certain way, it’s hard to believe otherwise, but I’m here to tell you that shit isn’t true. Those people want you to believe those things to keep you below them, to keep you in your place, or because they feel that way about themselves and they’re projecting that shit onto you.
Sad but true.
Positive thinking about yourself and life in general can be really hard (which is why you have to be committed, and fake it till you make it), because your thoughts, inner voice, and what people say around you really does determine your reality.
Take men, for example.
Think about what ‘typically’ baby boys are taught from birth. Having multiple girls is a boss move (which leads to lying and cheating), they’re celebrated for having more than one girlfriend in as early as preschool (eyeroll). They’re told to be ‘strong’, don’t cry, crying makes you weak, you can’t express your emotions, that’s not manly, men don’t do that, men don’t get therapy, men don’t talk about how they feel, don’t be a simp, man up…
Blah blah fucking blah.
And we wonder why the majority are the way they are.
Now imagine that boy growing up into a man. He wants to find love, give and receive love, start a family, be a role model, the King he was born to be, but because subconsciously he’s been told all those things from a young age, he now doesn’t know how.
He goes around hurting his partners, walks through life lacking confidence and not believing in himself, gets into relationships inflicting his pain onto others, cheating, lying, guarded, doing all the things he’s been taught to believe by his environment, with people eventually telling him over and over, ‘you never open up, you never show any emotion, why can’t you just say how you feel…’
I’m not saying that all men are like this, not at all, and I love how many are now realising that the shit they were taught is wrong. More and more are seeking therapy and stepping into their roles of the Kings they are, and I love to see it.
But do you see the power of words from this example? If you’re told or tell yourself you’re dumb, unlovable, worthless, stupid, weak, ugly, incapable, useless, poor, not worthy, that you have to settle, or any other negative thing regularly enough, you will start believing it.
So I just want to tell you that you are none of those things, and as soon as you start telling yourself just how amazing you are, you’ll see not only how much your life can change, but how powerful you’ll begin to feel.
Affirmations are so powerful, trust me. I get it can be weird at first and you may seem hesitant, but what have you got to lose if they don’t work for you?
Absolutely nothing, but you have so much to gain.
So next time that voice inside your head says something negative, tell it to shut up and replace it with something you love about yourself.
Over and over again.
Repetition is key.
And with that, I have to go, because I have a book to finish. But I hope you come back for my next post. Until then, though, I’ll leave those of you who wish to try affirmations with some of my favourites.
Remember, fake it till you make it.
It won’t be long before you're not.
Lots of love, LeeSha xxx